Relating to Family

Nephews and nieces are like alien clones. They act similar to you, they have similar features, yet as my friend puts it "they look all funky". The weirdest part about clones is not the science, or
the 90% chance they are made from frog DNA; the weirdest part is that they act like, well, you.

How do they act like you? It's either the yelling, or saying "boofay" instead of "buffay" (buffet). It's the evil eye scowl that you saved for demolishing egos. It's the sweet charm of a smile and happy eyes to get ice cream. Yes, all your best weapons have been stolen. They are now wielded indescriminately by tiny big headed people whose sole desire is ice cream and pooping. Ah, the chaos that is children.

I suppose it is God's curse against man to watch his own mini clone reflect all his worst strategies. I watched one of my nephews do one of these numbers-

"I want ice cream"
"But you didn't eat your dinner"
"I did, I did, I did," *strong nods*
"No I remember, you didn't"
*Cry* "I hate you"

This brilliant ploy in adult terms would be something like:

"I want a raise"
"But you don't show up to work; you don't do your work; and ...you smell like a walrus in heat."
"I did to show up. Remember in 1994? I came for a whole week!"
"Your time card says otherwise"
*Cry* "I'm going to kill you"

So the apple falls right next to the tree. Nephew used the "yelling to make it true" strategy, as well as the "threaten the peace" strategy. No wonder the bible says "do unto others as you would be done to". I'm going to give everyone lots of money. LOTS OF MONEY.

Summary: Joy fills my heart at the thought of children, but fear floods my mind at the thought of the evil I would bring to the world.

Sidenote: Why is it that the people you seem to get along with the least are your family? Isn't that just strange? How the same pool of DNA can make incompatible people? I mean really, how does that work?